Creative Studio, blog 6: Loss

Loss grabs an hold of a piece of your heart that never goes away. Unfortunately a family friend past away on Thursday 4th November 2021, this was after a short battle with lung cancer, even though we knew he was going to die, this does not make it any easier. Aidy lived across the road from us for 12 years, he had become a great friend of the family, he lived there with his long term partner of 27 years and his 14 year grandson who they have brought up since two years of age. He was always so helpful and knew my dad struggled to cut the grass, so he would always come around and do this for us. He was a loyal guy that would do anything for his family and friends even till the very end, he was worried about everyone else. He told me back in August that he was not scared of dying he was worried about the people he left behind. Even though his illness was short, he fought an hard fight he was in immense pain daily and nothing ever stopped the pain till the day he died. 

My life will be forever changed, forever grateful for knowing Aidy and him being a part of my life, Aidy will always hold a special place in my heart. When I heard the news that Aidy had died, I went into caring mode worrying about his family and how they was. It was not till a few hours later after supporting the family that I broke down whilst walking across the road crying, I had realised that my neighbour, my friend was gone and I would never see him in the garden again, I would never see him fixing cars, I would never see him with his grandkids, taking them to school or spending time together. It had hit me that he was really gone and from that realisation they are no words that can truly describe the devastating pain I feel and while writing this with tears streaming down my face it is hard to deal with the loss of losing someone; even if you knew that someone was dying, it does not make it easier. This really affected my creativity and concentration on my university work and was hard to try and get my head around what was happening , this added to my stress of trying to do my University work as my mind was not really there.

Siobhan :)

10/11/21